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[quote=Anonymous]Here's one from CEG (though I don't really like his stuff):

A great example letter:
Dear Ms. Veronica Lauren,

My name is Zola Avery, and I’m a hopeful Yalie from Bergen County, New Jersey. Though deferred from the Early Action pool, I remain absolutely convinced that Yale is the school for me. I’d like to thank the admissions department for reevaluating my materials.

This past weekend, I got the opportunity to spend some time up in New Haven for the Yale University Model United Nations Conference (YMUN), serving as part of the United Nations International Strategy for Disaster Reduction Committee (UNISDR) and debating rising sea levels and volcanic eruptions. Speaking with current Yale students made me realize more than ever before that I was with my people—warm, incredibly funny, artistic in their own way, and unabashedly inquisitive. This weekend, I was where I belong.

I would also like to take this time to briefly tell the admissions department about a few things that have happened since I submitted my Early Action application. First, I wrote, illustrated, and published a children’s book centered around gender inclusivity in STEM fields, with all proceeds going towards supporting curriculum development and outreach for the Stereotype Project, an organization I’ve been running for the past four years that focuses on combating stereotypes through art. I’ve attached PDF copies of my book, Mika and the Microscope, along with some other information, but you should be receiving a copy in the mail soon. I very much believe the magic of reading is magnified when the book is in its physical form (and I think my brother and sister, 5 and 9, would definitely agree).

Secondly, I’d like to add the following honors to my admissions file:
- Best Delegate, Yale University Model United Nations Conference
- Outstanding Delegate, Bronx Science High School Model United Nations Conference
- Member of the Andrea Rubino Sheridan Chapter of National Honor Society

My whole life I have worked to draw connections and bridge the gap between science, social justice, and art. Whether wandering through the Yale Art Museum, bringing together feuding nations as part of YMUN, or listening to Dr. Woo-Kyoung Ahn speak about causal learning and the relationship between genetic explanations and psychopathology, I know that no community will help me flourish quite like Yale’s would. I know that there is nowhere else I’d rather create the future.

Again, thank you for taking the time to reevaluate my application. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can provide.

Sincerely,
Zola Avery
https://www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/letter-of-continued-interest

Which one of the above is the "right" track?[/quote]

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