Reply to Elderly MIL probably needs memory care but lives with mentally ill son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, wow, that escalated quickly.

A few notes:
BIL is not dangerous, never has been, and holds down a PT job where he works 30ish hours a week, mostly overnight.

Yes, we are going to help MIL and BIL. We care about them and don't want them to suffer.

Thanks for all the input! We're going to reach out to adult services in their county for help. [/quote]
The symptoms you described are consistent with schizophrenia and psychosis. It’s great he hasn’t been violent, but that’s not the only way danger comes into the situation. Your MIL is a vulnerable person living with a mentally ill AC who is probably also vulnerable. It’s not safe. [b]It escalated because multiple posters suggested that MIL should essentially be punished and that her family has no responsibility.[/b] It’s relieving to know you actually plan to help. [/quote]

That’s not what ppl were saying. Not punished, but, the fact remains that she does live with a mentally ill person and that will complicate the situation beyond belief. I’m sure most of the ppl telling OP to leave it alone have experience with this. In my opinion (based on experience), it’s actually worse that the BIL is with it enough to hold down a job because that means he’s with it enough to fight OP’s husband on everything. He’s got a job, no documented history of mental illness and he lives in the home, he’s going to be calling the shots because no court is going to declare him incompetent or give OP’s husband sole control of the MIL and her assets. He’s not going to take help from OP and her husband because he won’t see an upside in moving out of his home. So, it’s going to be a major conflict and there is a high likelihood that OP and her husband lose.[/quote]

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