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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to ask a specific question for the BTDT parents regarding the more extreme versions of picky eating.

How do you handle a child who is being served foods you know they will eat and have eaten recently (like for us we always have bread and butter and fruit on the table for meals) but they say they are not hungry, and then 30 minutes later ask for a snack food or dessert?

To give a very specific example: last night we had chicken tacos. Our picky eater won't eat combined foods and doesn't eat meat but will eat tortillas and shredded cheese so we made sure those were on the table separately. We also had apple slices and peanut butter on the table, which we often do when we know DC won't touch the protein we are eating.

DC ate maybe 3 bites of a tortilla, two bites of shredded cheese, and wouldn't touch the apples or peanut butter, and then said she wasn't really hungry. We said okay and excused her from the table.

Then an hour later she asked if she could have one of the holiday cookies our friends had brought over yesterday. I said no, I couldn't give her a cookie because she ate so little for dinner and I didn't want her to just have a cookie for dinner. I said if she was hungry she could have bread or a tortilla with some butter on it (something she is normally fine with). She declined that but asked if she could have crackers. Part of me wanted to relent just because she was hungry and I just want her to eat. But DH cut in and said no, we were offering several more healthy and filling options than crackers, which she normally eats, and we can't give her crackers instead because they aren't as healthy and won't fill her tummy up the same way.

It's really hard. I don't want her to be hungry. But DH is right if we give in and give her snack foods after a meal that was designed to meet her pickiness halfway, it just reinforces the idea that she can fill up on crackers instead of making the effort to eat the more healthy, higher variety foods we're serving.

Any advice on handling this specific situation? I have no trouble saying no to the cookie but it's hard to hold a firm line when you have a kid saying they are hungry and asking for food but refusing all the options you are offering which are already an accommodation from what was actually served for dinner (like we know she's not going to actually eat a chicken taco).[/quote]

For me, if she is asking for one holiday cookie when other children at home are having one, I’d say that’s fine. One small evening snack like a cookie or a few crackers is fine, to me. I would not let that child eat MORE dessert or evening snack than the rest of the family though. I’d do what you did, and offer more dinner or some fruit. Some kids are grazers or are not hungry at the family’s dinner time and that’s fine.
I am starving at 4pm and have just started eating my own dinner at 4pm as opposed to eating tons of snack food and then finally dinner at 7 when I’m not hungry anymore. As a bonus I’ve lost like 10lb with this approach. [/quote]

Fair enough. I think I just have trouble getting over her not eating foods that we know she does eat sometimes (and that have been served specifically to ensure that there are foods on the table she can eat) and then letting her have a cookie essentially in lieu of an actual dinner.

Do you not worry about it becoming habit -- refusing the served food knowing they can have a cooking or some crackers later? This is my fear. That I'm giving her a way to get out of eating dinner and just eat dessert or snacks instead, thus making an end run around our careful efforts to try and encourage her to eat a varied, balanced diet.[/quote]

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