Reply to Sigh... DD and friends are excluding other kids via group chats

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The sending pictures is particularly harmful and dangerous.

I'd have a blunt conversation about this.  Have her imagine that these texts were printed out and plastered all over the school.  How would she feel?  How would her friends feel?  Would she proud of this?

Teen girls might pick each other apart, but putting it in writing like this is absolutely a horrible idea.  She might feel annoyed with one girl, say something mean in person, and everyone would forget the next day.  On a text thread?  That lives FOREVER.  She needs to understand it.

I'm not sure what I'd do for "punishment" but I'd absolutely make sure she knows that if I am paying for her plan, I better not ever see trash talk from her on that phone again.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks, this is helpful. I think she knows all of this, since DH and I have made a point to discuss bullying and its negative effects with her before. I feel like she's a little too old to "punish" in the traditional sense of the word- grounding her or taking away things is only going to make her feel angry at me. I don't want all of her focus to be on hating me- she needs to feel accountable. I have no problem being the bad cop, though. [/quote]

I'd get more specific.  Taking bad pictures of people without them and sending them to a group chat to be mocked is HORRIBLE.  Teens make mistakes, but it needs to be pointed out how mean this is.  She can be in the smaller group chat to talk about...things.  But not people.  If she and her friends need to complain about another friend, do it on a Starbucks run.

Teens need to realize that their phone conversations are not private.  It's not YOU seeing this stuff that is the worst case scenario here, it's her other friends.  Being cautious about it is a good idea.  Videos, pictures, etc live a long time.  Some inappropriate things can carry felony charges and there is a LONG electronic history.  Your phone is not really private.  It's good to know that at a young age.[/quote]

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