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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not be willing to force or punish my kid over refusal to spend time with the other parent. It would damage my relationship with my kid. The other parent is welcome to come over and try to coerce them, or to spend some time trying to repair their relationship with the kid. Or they can pick the kid up from school or some other neutral location so that it isn't my problem.

Often times kids have good reasons for doing this, or the other parent simply does not have realistic parenting expectations. At that age, they don't spend a whole lot of time at home or with their parents, at all period.

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Sounds like you are why this child would have these issues with the other parent as you don't want them to have a relationship and the little allowed you want to control. NO, follow the court order.[/quote]

No, I'm really not. My child has issues with their other parent because of their other parent's behavior and treatment of the child. It's not something I can fix. And since transportation is not specified in our court order, I think I am on solid ground inviting my ex to come and pick up the child from my home or any other location. For example, my ex's custody time begins Fridays at 5 PM. So if the child is at school at that time, my ex can go and pick up the child from school. I won't even be there. If the child refuses to appear, or refuses to get in the car, my ex is welcome to attempt any solution they think might be effective. It's really not my problem. They will have a better relationship when my ex improves his behavior. [/quote]

Your child needs your support.  Your actions are part of why there is a bad relationship.  [/quote]

What kind of "support" would you recommend? Gaslighting them that their father is a good parent? Sorry but it's not true and they both know it. Maybe I should punish them for not wanting to spend time with someone who treats them badly? Or maybe just physically force a 6 foot tall 17 year old boy into his widdle car seat and dwive him over there? Come on. At a certain point it's best to just disengage. And support my child in their grief over having a difficult father.[/quote]

Now it's clear. You have alienated your son and destroyed his relationship with his father. It will negatively affect him for the rest of his life.

[/quote]

Nope, he can go right over to his dad's house any time he likes. Or his dad can pick him up. Their relationship could be just fine.

Sometimes people just don't parent well. That's life. I'm sad that my son has to deal with it, but I can't fix it for him. [/quote]

I’m sort of on your side on this. Because when I have tried to get involved it doesn’t seem to help. It’s not my relationship to support or mend. It can be a confusing spot to be in because I do want them to have a relationship. [/quote]

Yes, this! I honestly do not know what I could do to improve this. Coercing the kid will not actually help! Sure there are a few months until he turns 18, technically, but what then? [/quote]

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