Reply to S/o is the problem intensive parenting or lack of support?

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Reply to "S/o is the problem intensive parenting or lack of support?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you have to define what you mean by intensive parenting.

I am an intensive parent in that I am present and involved in my child's life. I know what she's working on in school and help her with homework and I am aware of what she's going through socially and emotionally to a much greater degree than my parents ever were. As a parent I think about how family decisions like where we live or what jobs we have will impact her and my spouse and I take that into account. Our household revolves around collective family time and needs as opposed to just parental needs which makes our home feel a lot more "kid-oriented" than mine did growing up. I am closer to and have a better relationship with my DD than I ever had with my own parents.

But I think some people think intensive parenting means catering to your kids endlessly or spending tons of money and time on their activities and we don't do that stuff. Our kid has chores. We have firm limits on what we spend money on. We will not do travel sports because we think it's too intensive and hard on families. We won't bankrupt ourselves or give up our own mental health to provide additional opportunities for our kid -- there has to be balance and we also matter in the family. It's not all for DD.

We don't really have any support from family (or "community" whatever that means in this context) but we only had one kid so this doesn't feel like a huge burden except during the pandemic but I mean who felt really well supported and happy during the pandemic?[/quote]

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