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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hyphenated and our kids have a hyphenated last name. DH just uses his last name.

We receive mail addressed to the Hyphenated last name family or Mr. and Mrs. John Hyphenated last name. NBD. It’s our family name.

To the posters annoyed when they receive mail addressed to The Johnson Family or Mr. and Mrs. John Johnson instead of Ms. Smith and Mr. Johnson or the Smith/Johnson family, please realize that nobody is tracking your preferred naming convention and sometimes it’s just easier to use the assumed family name (especially when mailing 100 holiday cards or wedding invitations).

[/quote] it’s not a preferred naming convention.  It is not my name.  I am not Jennifer Jones.  I am Jennifer Smith.  Why bother with placecards at all if you are not going to bother using a persons actual name? [/quote]

Lots of reasons.

Because people didn’t realize you didn’t change your name.

They might assume you just use your maiden name professionally.

Because someone else might be handling the invites or place cards and they made an assumption or mistake.

Bottom line: don’t take it personally or get upset.

Even with my hyphenated last name I still sometimes get things addressed to me as Mrs. Husband’s Last Name or the Smith Family. NBD. Who cares?

It did bother me when I received checks from my MIL and SIL made out to me as Mary Smith even though they knew my name was Mary Jones-Smith. I simply told my husband I couldn’t cash or deposit them since they used the wrong name and he handled it. They quickly learned. [/quote]

They do not  know me professionally. I am an Aunt, three of the four aunts in this family did not change their name. It is a known thing. None of the Aunt’s names were correct. They seem to be fine with my name when it was signed on their birthday and Christmas checks every year. [/quote]

Since this is really irking you, why not ask them directly?

Fwiw, shortly after I sent holiday cards for the first time, I heard from a few women who thanked me for the card and essentially corrected me by saying, “I noticed you addressed it to the Smith family, but we actually go by the Smith-Johnson family.” I also had one person tell me they prefer to be referred to as Mr. John Smith and Dr. Mary Jones. That one made me chuckle. And once they had kids, she told me she preferred The Smith| Johnson Family…noting it’s not hyphenated and not with a forward slash. [/quote]

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