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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Friendship with abuser"
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[quote=Anonymous]Neutrality will cost both friendships. You really have to pick sides as you do in all divorces honestly. Not that you need to be hostile to the other party but close friendship with both unrealistic. I would choose the party to whom I was closer. But in support of the abused you could acknowledge his/her pain and perhaps state why you are choosing to support the other party. For example if you have had a decades long friendship with abuser that predates the abuser spouse that would be understandable. You could frame it as we believe you and are not trying to minimize your experience, but given our history with X we feel we need to support him in his recovery (or whatever he is doing). As someone who left an abusive marriage, it added significantly to my trauma that I had a friend who sided with my ex and clearly did not believe me. And she had been my friend all along and was only casually acquainted with my ex.[/quote]
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