Reply to Advice - Fitting in With Other Black Kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are likely several factors at play here.  A lot could depend on when your DD joined the school vs the Black students, where you all live vs where they live, extracurriculars, etc.

[b]As a Black woman, I can tell you the Black students may incorrectly assume that your daughter is not interested in being friends with them based on her current friend group.  [/b]

Hopefully she can develop friendships with them organically, but I definitely wouldn't push it.  If there are extracurriculars that several of the Black students are involved in that your DD may enjoy it could be helpful to enroll her in those same activities so she can spend time with them away from her friend group. [/quote]

Black woman here too. This was my thought. I was just out with white friends this past weekend for an alumni meetup and, when you’re with white people, Black groups will feel you out, thinking “does she think she’s too good for her own kind?” type of thing. I always go out of my way to say hi or even strike up a conversation with other Black women no matter who I’m with.

Typing this feels so dumb but it’s the way things are because there ARE “I don’t hang out with Black people/I’m too good for other Black people” individuals in our own community who think they can sidestep, racism, biases, and stereotyping by clutching to proximity to whiteness.

So, I’d recommend that your DD always speak when she sees them and hopefully they come around. [/quote]

All of this. Also, OP, it's a little late for this, but it needs to be something you focus on as well. You can't expect these things to happen organically.   My (much younger) AA daughter goes to school with a black kid that has white parents.  The mother has always made sure that our kids do things together and I make sure to keep her in the loop when I hear about events or things going on where I know there will be lots of brown and black kids.  [/quote]

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