Reply to Why is there such a difference in advice in this forum vs. tweens/teens?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's pretty clear that most parents posting here are well away of what it takes to get into even a T100 university these days: high unweighted GPA, great standardized test scores, leadership EC's, etc. But the prevailing feeling in the other forum seems to be, "Let your kids have fun and be themselves, and they'll land where they land." Is this just a self-selecting group of posters, or is something else going on?[/quote]

It's the beauty of innocence. Of course, tweens and their parents shouldn't be overly concerned about college during those years.

Come 9th grade, however, it's reality check time. No one is traipsing into UVA, much less Vanderbilt or Penn. It's time for a sit down and to get informed. This includes finances. And a hard look at what it actually takes to get into a top 50 or so school - if that's where you want to go. But it's also important to stress that there are 5000 colleges in America and it's all going to work out.

But realism is the order of the day. I do find the college forum here pretty useful. Sure, there are neurotics. And the deluded. And the fools. And it takes a bit until you're able to quickly discern the wise from the foolish. But I find it better overall than reddit or cc. I learned a lot that was helpful to my kids and how we approached college.

But yeah, it's pretty basic if you are shooting for a top school - the most rigorous classes, particularly math; no more than a B or two;  study for the PSAT/SAT/ACT - 34 and 1500 are your golden scores; do something interesting and be really good at it; write a great essay that quietly says something cool about you; be kind; by Junior year, selection the 2/3 teachers that will be writing your recommendations and be awesome to them; be a leader in something; demonstrate some community service; and try to be somewhat athletic, both for your own good and for your friends. And get enough sleep.

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. [/quote]

That is the recipe for sure. My issue with dcum is the pressure from parents to do all the above: that should come almost entirely from the kids. Furthermore many cannot get 34/1500 (the bar for T20 unhooked) without huge investment of $ and months and months of study and retakes. Why on earth put your kid through that? The only kids who should be encouraged in the rat race, and only if it is their goal not the parents, are the ones that have always been 98-99th percentile students from early on(even public schools provide this data to parents as early as 3rd g). 
Parents need to understand and accept the kids they have and guide them to schools that make sense for them. [/quote]

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