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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  Yes, my child can order food at McDonald’s, get dressed (and even help siblings get dressed), shower, get good to eat out of the kitchen, etc.  The frustration/tantrums are from having to do non-preferred tasks like homework.  [/quote]

Op, is it possible that his frustration from things like homework is due to maybe difficulty doing it? Like academic difficulty? That could be very frustrating for him. 
 What other things is he having tantrums about at home? Like routines or schedules? I'm just trying to get an idea of what is sort of at the root of it. I'm also the parent of a kid with ASD who is considered high functioning, but we sure do have challenges. I'm actually getting my kid back into OT. I had thought about ABA but there's literally not enough hours in the day.[/quote]

DC gets extremely angry when things gs don’t go his way…but not always.  DC wakes up some mornings and is as Normal as can be but then, something switches, and becomes angry and defiant.  Small things set DC off.  Socially, DC is at the periphery of social groups, but no true friends (great with siblings though).  Wants to join in but it’s clear DC doesn’t know how.  School/academics is very hard for DC-ADHD and anxiety were also diagnosed.  Normal IQ.[/quote]

PP here. I wonder if meds for the ADHD and anxiety might be helpful. I'm not saying hey medicate the kid, but I am saying I wonder if it might help so that he can think a little clearer and not melt down as much.
In my experience with my kid, who I think is the same age as yours, anxiety especially sometimes comes off as sort of like anger. And then add in that your kid is having a hard time at school, I could see where some meltdowns might occur.

I'm not against ABA, op, but I wonder if maybe treating the symptoms might help him get past this difficult time.[/quote]

Thank you!  Yes, we are going to treat the adhd and anxiety first.  We have appointments lined up for that.  I think, based on everyone’s input, we are going to hold off just a bit on ABA and see how the meds work.  We know DC will need some therapy, but, I think waiting to see how meds help first will then inform our future decisions.

Just want to say thank you all for the helpful advice and  thoughtful responses.  I value the feedback from the professionals and take it seriously, but hearing parents who are/have been dealing with similar issues is also so so helpful.  Thank you![/quote]

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