Reply to Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re part of the problem OP if you’re not correcting their behavior. [/quote]

Maybe reread the part where it talks about repeatedly correcting the behavior. [/quote]

That’s not a consequence though. It would be like a cop telling you repeatedly to stop speeding. The ticket is the consequence that ends the behavior.

In this example, I would’ve taken the child home and ended the fun with friends. [/quote]

I think being reprimanded in front of friends is a consequence. Because it's unpleasant. Or if it delays any more fun activity.

Here is what I would do:

1) Talk with son, tell him you find this to be a problem, and ask him his input. Make a show of listening to his opinions at length. Ask which of his friends are best behaved at school-- it might not be who you think, and it's good to know.

2) Write up "house rules" and post them. Put a lot of thought into it but keep the language super simple. Some boys' auditory and language processing is quite poor. Posting the rules means kids don't feel like you're randomly making up rules, and they know what to expect.

3) Invite kids over 1 or 2 at a time and point out the rules. Thank them when they comply nicely. You're trying to teach them expectations in advance of returning to larger group hosting. If they are good, mention it to their parents within their earshot.

4) if you do have to announce a rule, do it once, and if not complied, speak directly to the offending kid and tell him "My house has rules. Do you want to stay by the rules, or go home?". Give one more chance, but if you do send a kid home it's a great opportunity to prove to all of them that you mean it.

5) Remember that you are doing the right thing and that it's in their best interest to learn some age-appropriate manners!!! [/quote]

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