Reply to How to disclose past sexual abuse to adult siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I also said if anyone wants to understand why I'm not able to comply with the request, they can feel free to reach out to me. I don't expect anyone to - I've always been the scapegoat , the black sheep - and they'll just chalk it up to me being difficult or self-centered. If you have family members who have narcissistic tendencies, you'll understand.[/quote]

OP, I think you handled this really well. You didn’t let yourself get pushed into supporting the abuser. I’m sorry you have the family you do, because a better one would reach out to you in concern.

I also struggle with family contact and my attempt to be open about the abuse was dismissed. It’s a lonely thing. You are very much not alone.[/quote]

It’s the OP, thank you for your note.

My father has ignored my response that I will visit when I can. He has sent multiple group emails requesting visits, with the last one including a schedule where the 4 of us are allocated to 3 monthly visits per year, and which months we are to visit. I was allocated to April, August, December.
Although I’m the second oldest, I couldn’t help noticing I was listed last.

August is now.

Some posters said I should confront him. It’s now pissing me off that I said no, and he continues to send emails ignoring and disrespecting my wishes, as if I were his property.

I am considering asking him if he remembers what he did to me when I was 12, in an email. I’m ready to have him deny it, or say he doesn’t remember, and also to say how I’m such an ungrateful daughter who disrespects her parents (that’s usually how it has gone when I brought up issues).  Still, I want him to know that I KNOW and I REMEMBER WHAT HE DID.

“Hi Dad
Do you remember what you did to me when I was 12 and Mom was away in China for a few months?”

Or I could say nothing about that and reply to all “I’ve already said I will visit when I am able. Please stop asking me to commit to a schedule.”

Or I just automatically move the emails into junk so I don’t have to deal with him.

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