Reply to Is couples therapy a sham for some ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I am looking for criteria. A set of yes / no questions to determine whether couple therapy is suitable or has a higher or lower likelihood of success.

surely.. someone has crafted this criteria?  I am not a naysayer - individual worked well and I had a positive experience with therapy. [/quote]

I feel like PPs have said this, but is each person willing to:
- actually listen?
- accept that they are part of the "problem" dynamic?
- forgive the other partner and let go of being aggrieved?
- change behavior even if their way is "right"?
- change how they feel about the other's behavior, i.e., decide to let something go?[/quote]

Nah, This is OP.  That is WAY too loose.  I am not trained in this field at all. This }%^ is off the top of my head. Criteria Id want: 
1. Each willing to sign a contract to work on identified behaviors 1-3 / week. As set by therapist. That means genuine efforts measured by therapist 
 (or subject to termination) . Some items can be continuous . Spouse is not allowed to grade or judge but may listen to the others descriptions of efforts, without judgment.

2. Each willing to take individual sessions. (subject to termination by therapist)

3.  Each willing to agree on agendas at the top of each session and not deviate from those unless two parties agree (subject to termination)

etc

The accountability is where the therapist threatens to bail if they don’t take it seriously.  This is with little preparation… It’s like Kaizen for Couples (maybe?). Surely SOMEONE a has come up with criteria or couples agreements ? Is it all open ended and subjective ?[/quote]

No, you do not write a contract with your spouse and have the therapist enforce it. You are way off base.

Also, this is not even your relationship! This is you trying to suggest (??) a weird contract for somebody else's marriage counseling because you think she's doing it wrong, I guess based on what she's saying since you aren't there. You need to butt out. [/quote]

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