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[quote=Anonymous]My sister and I both moved home at points in time for graduate school. The deal was as long as we were in school working towards one specific degree with a plan, we could stay there, no longer. We had to cook 3 dinners per week, help with household maintenance, and keep things tidy. My parents didn't charge us rent and paid for groceries but everything else was our responsibility. I had graduate funding and my sister worked summers. Upon graduation, we both had jobs lined up and moved out.

DH's brother moved home after quitting an entry level job he didn't like. Retired MIL paid for his beer, sports betting, and takeout, did his laundry, cooked his meals, he didn't work, sat around playing video games or went with her to their beach house for extended periods of time. She liked the company but she made it way too easy and comfortable for him. No end date, no responsibilities. The only thing that eventually motivated him to leave is when DH's sister also moved in and was so obnoxious and disruptive that he got a house with friends and a job bartending. DH's sister is still living at home, she works part time because she doesn't like working full time. Drinks MIL's wine collection, spends MIL's money on redecorating, and is generally just super entitled and living beyond a standard she'd ever afford on her own. Recently she started paying $500/month in rent because it has now been several years and MIL is realizing she needs to make it a bit less comfortable, but I think she'll need to do more to get her to electively leave.

DH and I have talked about how to avoid failure to launch with our own kids and based on both families' experiences I'd say they can only move home under specific circumstances, with an exit plan. If they are working, they should pay rent, and it can't be forever. They won't go hungry but don't give them spending money. Set the expectations that they contribute as a good roommate, not reverting back to acting like the child. [/quote]

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