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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not rich so I don’t dine in these fancy circles. When we have other families over they ask “what can I bring?” And I’ll say “dessert would be amazing!” Or “something to drink. ” or “just yourselves!” And it really is okay if they come empty handed. We are all so busy I hate burdening others with the stress of having to pick up a token gift before they come to my house for dinner.

I can’t imagine how a big dinner party would go with all the guests parading in with gifts…where do they go? Who takes care of them? If you entertain a lot, what do you do with 5 jars of peach balsamic or 7 packs of seasonal napkins?

I get that it’s considered etiquette, and I’ve brought wine to many an event where I know it’s a fancier event, so I’m not completely boorish. But do you all feel that at some point we can change the etiquette to adjust to our generation? With many families with two working parents and kids in multiple activities, there isn’t as much time as there used to be to worry about these things. Again, I’m not in the fancy circles so I don’t mean to offend, just thinking about things. [/quote]

You're not wrong, but you're not going to change it in these circles overnight. And you know your crowd. We have some friends where we get takeout and someone brings dessert. We also go to dinner parties where people bring wines from their cellars and various gifts. I only know what I see, but I'm sure people are sending flowers beforehand and there are lots of gifts and wine on the sideboard. Nobody ends up with all the napkins and peach balsalmic. There's a lot of creativity with this crowd and I attempted to share here. Local artisans and boutiques are much frequented, and they change their stock constantly. If people do not want to hear what people are actually doing (it sounds like OP does) then they don't need to read the thread or follow these customs. For people interested, I'm happy to provide an example of what I've seen personally. Others may differ. But empty-handed is never appropriate. [/quote]

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