Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 13:49     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:Most people just bring a bottle of wine.


May be in past but now with all the scientific proof about how bad alcohol is, lot of people don't drink or appreciate such gift. Someone may have an addiction, health/prefrence/religious restriction or trying to quit.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 12:07     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:I’m not rich so I don’t dine in these fancy circles. When we have other families over they ask “what can I bring?” And I’ll say “dessert would be amazing!” Or “something to drink. ” or “just yourselves!” And it really is okay if they come empty handed. We are all so busy I hate burdening others with the stress of having to pick up a token gift before they come to my house for dinner.

I can’t imagine how a big dinner party would go with all the guests parading in with gifts…where do they go? Who takes care of them? If you entertain a lot, what do you do with 5 jars of peach balsamic or 7 packs of seasonal napkins?

I get that it’s considered etiquette, and I’ve brought wine to many an event where I know it’s a fancier event, so I’m not completely boorish. But do you all feel that at some point we can change the etiquette to adjust to our generation? With many families with two working parents and kids in multiple activities, there isn’t as much time as there used to be to worry about these things. Again, I’m not in the fancy circles so I don’t mean to offend, just thinking about things.


You're not wrong, but you're not going to change it in these circles overnight. And you know your crowd. We have some friends where we get takeout and someone brings dessert. We also go to dinner parties where people bring wines from their cellars and various gifts. I only know what I see, but I'm sure people are sending flowers beforehand and there are lots of gifts and wine on the sideboard. Nobody ends up with all the napkins and peach balsalmic. There's a lot of creativity with this crowd and I attempted to share here. Local artisans and boutiques are much frequented, and they change their stock constantly. If people do not want to hear what people are actually doing (it sounds like OP does) then they don't need to read the thread or follow these customs. For people interested, I'm happy to provide an example of what I've seen personally. Others may differ. But empty-handed is never appropriate.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 11:03     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:I’m not rich so I don’t dine in these fancy circles. When we have other families over they ask “what can I bring?” And I’ll say “dessert would be amazing!” Or “something to drink. ” or “just yourselves!” And it really is okay if they come empty handed. We are all so busy I hate burdening others with the stress of having to pick up a token gift before they come to my house for dinner.

I can’t imagine how a big dinner party would go with all the guests parading in with gifts…where do they go? Who takes care of them? If you entertain a lot, what do you do with 5 jars of peach balsamic or 7 packs of seasonal napkins?

I get that it’s considered etiquette, and I’ve brought wine to many an event where I know it’s a fancier event, so I’m not completely boorish. But do you all feel that at some point we can change the etiquette to adjust to our generation? With many families with two working parents and kids in multiple activities, there isn’t as much time as there used to be to worry about these things. Again, I’m not in the fancy circles so I don’t mean to offend, just thinking about things.


At least you admit to not being in fancy circles unlike the posters whose pretentious comments are mere projections of their insecurities.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 08:18     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
I’m not rich so I don’t dine in these fancy circles. When we have other families over they ask “what can I bring?” And I’ll say “dessert would be amazing!” Or “something to drink. ” or “just yourselves!” And it really is okay if they come empty handed. We are all so busy I hate burdening others with the stress of having to pick up a token gift before they come to my house for dinner.

I can’t imagine how a big dinner party would go with all the guests parading in with gifts…where do they go? Who takes care of them? If you entertain a lot, what do you do with 5 jars of peach balsamic or 7 packs of seasonal napkins?

I get that it’s considered etiquette, and I’ve brought wine to many an event where I know it’s a fancier event, so I’m not completely boorish. But do you all feel that at some point we can change the etiquette to adjust to our generation? With many families with two working parents and kids in multiple activities, there isn’t as much time as there used to be to worry about these things. Again, I’m not in the fancy circles so I don’t mean to offend, just thinking about things.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 08:08     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:It is a “no gifts” for the birthday celebrant party. Not a “no hostess gift” party.

For all the naysayers with the no alcohol, no scented candles or soaps, no sugar, no carbs, no seasonal trinkets - Bah humbug. The oil will spill and ruin a rug? Really? This isn’t a frat kegger. The hostess will say thank you and discreetly tuck the gift away - and later she may use it or may regift it. Who cares. This also is not a state dinner with a foreign dignitary where your staff needs to research the gift recipient’s preferences in advance in order to gift something symbolic and meaningful. It’s just a small gesture of appreciation. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just sincere.


Well said. Although I would love to have staff research recipient preferences.... hey wait, that's you guys!
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 08:07     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to take one, but if you do, I like to bring a nice bottle of olive oil. But since you know them well -- are they foodies? Like books? Into home decor? I'd do one of those categories and bring a fun food item, a newly released book in a category they like or a really nice candle if you are compelled.


Olive oil is a no-go. Could easily break and ruin a rug or furniture/clothing, and it's something they have their staff source. Flowers are the best choice. Always send a day ahead, so if they do not match the party theme, they can go in a private room.


No one is going to break a bottle and ruin a rug. So weird. No one has staff source olive oil. You are very weird.


They are trying for an Executive Humour post and failing miserably. Simon Marchmont would call her nouveau riche.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 21:31     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Of course you bring a hostess gift. Maybe Maldon sea salt? I host a lot and once someone gave me a cute box of matches. Something like this but it was just a pretty box. I used them for years

https://www.amazon.com/Matches-Matchboxes-Stickers-Included-Decorative/dp/B0CMHY122W/ref=sr_1_27?crid=FZVR2MT8OH2U&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sDR6Y4hg6RCuALj_W7kTIsjhyEdQuAS92HMsRIUWum64eL9B2l22pQeNeBq_QvF55FM-MfTrquakoQe1Ax-gyvn28jGXgNJU_4smEzmeBtmURm2LmGX_lfl2DWyiPav96-IJpb9McW8H5mqR5Bee40hC-5jyuFQQ4VzarSWIr1_4wxRqsp8GjIcxZNaYtO0PQ9vAVohRZfkOE3iBUgaQ_v8QCf1J1WFvAQWH4E72tj-Lfo9XWbloNDR3OO8TYIcN217Eh_QjPNdQ5tO4AEYGjkTSGzJerLFfXpP7xQ97B-M.M0K-RdDQKBe2xTLmgcICbKc2dXPni-PQ7E1slvAVsw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=Strike+o+box+matches+gift+box&qid=1716082184&sprefix=strike+o+box+matches+gift+bix%2Caps%2C172&sr=8-27
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 21:07     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:I need Megan Markle to up the jam production because that can be a great hostess gift!


Sorry, Meghan has ditched American Riviera Orchard. Now that she has been made a Princess of Nigeria, she is re-launching her website as "Nigerian American Riviera Orchard" and will sell wedding dresses to 12 year olds who are marrying their 60 year old cousins and cream to reduce the swelling after certain va jay jay operations.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 19:02     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
I need Megan Markle to up the jam production because that can be a great hostess gift!
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 17:12     Subject: Re:Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:I would kill for a Hostess cupcake right now.


I prefer Snoballs
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 17:05     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to take one, but if you do, I like to bring a nice bottle of olive oil. But since you know them well -- are they foodies? Like books? Into home decor? I'd do one of those categories and bring a fun food item, a newly released book in a category they like or a really nice candle if you are compelled.


Olive oil is a no-go. Could easily break and ruin a rug or furniture/clothing, and it's something they have their staff source. Flowers are the best choice. Always send a day ahead, so if they do not match the party theme, they can go in a private room.


No one is going to break a bottle and ruin a rug. So weird. No one has staff source olive oil. You are very weird.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 17:00     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
It is a “no gifts” for the birthday celebrant party. Not a “no hostess gift” party.

For all the naysayers with the no alcohol, no scented candles or soaps, no sugar, no carbs, no seasonal trinkets - Bah humbug. The oil will spill and ruin a rug? Really? This isn’t a frat kegger. The hostess will say thank you and discreetly tuck the gift away - and later she may use it or may regift it. Who cares. This also is not a state dinner with a foreign dignitary where your staff needs to research the gift recipient’s preferences in advance in order to gift something symbolic and meaningful. It’s just a small gesture of appreciation. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just sincere.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 16:52     Subject: Re:Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:DCUM people are crazy. You do not need to bring a gift. You should not bring a gift. You'll be the odd one out and the weirdo if you do.


You are the weirdo. Where were you raised? You always take a small gift no matter what. There are lots of small beautiful things you can stock up at Home Goods and TJ’s.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 12:07     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
Anonymous wrote:You should take a hostess gift. A small plant. Bottle of wine. Box of chocolates. It doesn’t really matter. It is just how social etiquette works.


Yup take that last bottle of wine someone gave you...hopefully it will get drunk eventually.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 11:56     Subject: Hostess Gift Ideas
You should take a hostess gift. A small plant. Bottle of wine. Box of chocolates. It doesn’t really matter. It is just how social etiquette works.