Reply to AITA Aunt? (graduation)

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Reply to "AITA Aunt? (graduation)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You seem all about you. I’m sure you won’t be missed.[/quote]

THIS. In my family not going would be  unacceptable. We are close and strongly value education. Showing up sends a message to the graduate and younger children that we are proud and this accomplishment is a big deal.[/quote]

What you describe is unacceptable.

The matter is between the graduate and the invitees. Based on the family dynamic you describe - a dynamic you endorse - if the graduate decides the Aunt's presence is optional, the Aunt would still be required to attend because You are making it a requirement. It's not about the graduate; it's about messages You have decided need to be sent to people who aren't You.

You are also deciding how other people receive messages: "Showing up sends a message to the graduate and younger children that we are proud and this accomplishment is a big deal."

Is that the case? Is it possible everyone having to attend graduations - declining is "unacceptable" - is received as the family being overbearing, or perhaps insufferable?

Either way, you don't get to decide how other people receive messages and then use this as a predicate to decide how relatives relate to each other. The matter is between the graduate and the invitees.

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