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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is he an only child? Has he been put in lots of social situations besides school (clubs, activities, neighborhood play, rec sport)? My son sounds similar to yours - nerdy, no video games and very low screens, and an only child new to the school in an area where everyone has multiple siblings and all know each other already.

I hate to say this, but I did my best to have DS fit in. I bought him a few new clothes (he was wearing plain primary colors and I bought him some brand name stuff from Kohls and some sports jerseys). I also put him in rec sports (at this age a lot of them are still pretty bad!) and found a sport he could be decent at recreationally. I put time into practicing with him until he could at least not feel embarrassed about playing. I also asked the teacher to give me social reports and any feedback she could share about his classroom interactions. I also tried my best to find out about similar kids (math kids, other boys who weren’t into sports) and encouraged friendships through reaching out to the moms.

Of course I have not crushed his natural interests and always give him a say in what he wants to wear or do (he picked soccer over basketball, baseball over tennis). He is still nerdy and he still says and does things that aren’t quite as socially adept and “cool” as those 2nd graders with older brothers. But he doesn’t really get teased anymore and he is much more confident. He feels like he has friends. [/quote]

I admit we were behind on the clothes thing (3rd grade), and that he's resistant to wearing athletic wear like his new classmates do (is too used to a uniform). I know wearing jeans and a nice shirt hurts his relationships, but we absolutely cannot get him to wear sweats to school. He plays rec baseball and soccer, and bless his heart, while he's terrible, those kids do not pick on him for it. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be overlap between them and his classmates.

Any other suggestions? He loves piano, but that doesn't seem popular. [/quote]

Does he have friends at school, or is most of his socialization outside of school?

Jeans are fine. How about jeans and just t shirts instead of collared shirts? And some cool shoes? I hate to suggest such superficial stuff, but kids notice and the bonus is that kids will ask him about it and it can be a way to socialize.

What about theater or robotics or something similarly nerdy but still social? I wonder if you could ask the teacher or counselor for names of similarly nerdy kids (just ask for kids who might be a good match and have similar interests) and you could reach out to a mom or two from school. I did that and we put our sons in an outside activity together. Piano is great, but won’t help build connections with other kid. If your school has band or orchestra, that’s another good option.

Often the school counselor is more than willing to create lunch bunch groups for kids who might need some social help. Has that been suggested at all?

My worry for you, OP, is that going into 5th grade and middle school years… that can be a rough period especially if your DS is already feeling left out or bullied. [/quote]

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