Reply to Happily married. Also find myself fantasizing about cheating.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Happily married. Also find myself fantasizing about cheating."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.[/quote]

[quote]Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??[/quote]

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.
[/quote]

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.[/quote]

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.[/quote]

I think pp means in the event of cheating but I disagree with that point.  I think a lot of men stay with cheating wives but they just keep quiet about the whole thing because it’s so emasculating.[/quote]

Yeah I'm with you. I think I've seen studies that say men and women cheat at about the same rate, but women still file for divorce much more often. I think there's a lot involved into why that would be the case, but agree that men are probably less likely to divorce a spouse after cheating.

Thinking about my own marriage, I think if I cheated (not planning on it, to be clear), my DH would (1) not want to know, and (2) if he found out, would look for a way to simply pretend it had not happened. I don't know if he would succeed in that, and I assume it would cause a lot of strife in our relationship, but I don't think he'd file for divorce unless I basically made him. I don't think he'd ever end our relationship willingly. He gets a lot out of it outside of sex or even monogamy, and I think he'd be terrified of being on his own.

Meanwhile, if he cheated, I do think I'd try to make it work because I hate the idea of breaking up our family, but I'd probably be quicker to pull the trigger on divorce if I felt he wasn't doing whatever I needed him to do to move forward. I think my standards for repair after cheating would be much higher than his would be because I think I'd be more okay in divorce than he would be. I don't want to get divorced, but I don't think it scares me as much as it does him.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics