Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

Women file overall for divorce, but when women cheat it’s always the men that file.

My DH did not file for divorce when I cheated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

Women file overall for divorce, but when women cheat it’s always the men that file.

And this is based on....?

I looked for statistics on this and I don't think there are any. I'm guessing you are basing it on anecdata but it doesn't ring true to me.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to, I have zero desire to blow up my good marriage, hurt my wonderful husband, or harm the loving family I've helped create for my kids.

But I'm going through some kind of hormonal thing and I'm insanely horny lately and have also developed an intense crush on a man in my orbit. Again, no interest in actually doing anything about it. But think about it all. the. time.

Has anyone been through this? Did it pass eventually? I'm almost enjoying it because it's been so long since I had that feeling of serious crush with strong physical attraction/chemistry. But it's also stressful because I feel a little guilty about the thoughts I'm having, and also worried that it's written all over my face.

Please tell me your stories of managing a midlife crush while happily married! I'm sitting here trying to work and instead engaging in some very cheesy fantasies and trying not to blush.

OP, I could have written your post! I have a total crush on a man in my social circle AND I'm very happily married. I don't think it's all that unusual - sexual attraction necessarily fades over time to your spouse, so someone new and different will always seem exciting. It's just not a fair fight. I let myself enjoy the fantasy of the other guy and remind myself that I would never go through with it because I value my life and my family too much. Don't beat yourself up!

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and it was fun and I don’t regret it. Don’t get caught and know it always ends so just have fun.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

Women file overall for divorce, but when women cheat it’s always the men that file.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

I think pp means in the event of cheating but I disagree with that point. I think a lot of men stay with cheating wives but they just keep quiet about the whole thing because it’s so emasculating.

Yeah I'm with you. I think I've seen studies that say men and women cheat at about the same rate, but women still file for divorce much more often. I think there's a lot involved into why that would be the case, but agree that men are probably less likely to divorce a spouse after cheating.

Thinking about my own marriage, I think if I cheated (not planning on it, to be clear), my DH would (1) not want to know, and (2) if he found out, would look for a way to simply pretend it had not happened. I don't know if he would succeed in that, and I assume it would cause a lot of strife in our relationship, but I don't think he'd file for divorce unless I basically made him. I don't think he'd ever end our relationship willingly. He gets a lot out of it outside of sex or even monogamy, and I think he'd be terrified of being on his own.

Meanwhile, if he cheated, I do think I'd try to make it work because I hate the idea of breaking up our family, but I'd probably be quicker to pull the trigger on divorce if I felt he wasn't doing whatever I needed him to do to move forward. I think my standards for repair after cheating would be much higher than his would be because I think I'd be more okay in divorce than he would be. I don't want to get divorced, but I don't think it scares me as much as it does him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

I think pp means in the event of cheating but I disagree with that point. I think a lot of men stay with cheating wives but they just keep quiet about the whole thing because it’s so emasculating.

Yep, more women file for divorce.
And agree on 2nd point also.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

I think pp means in the event of cheating but I disagree with that point. I think a lot of men stay with cheating wives but they just keep quiet about the whole thing because it’s so emasculating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

Anonymous wrote:

My friend got used, dumped and then got caught. Husband divorced her. Older teens didn’t take it well.

Wait, how did she get caught if the guy had already dumped her??

She (the friend) was still married when her AP dumped her.

Her DH found out she had the affair and divorced her because of it.

Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce.

Buy yourself The Rose. DH bought one for me and it’s a game changer!

https://www.bboutique.co/sex-toys/womens-vibrators/clit-suction-vibrators/the-rose-8272686645493

I find it easier when I get to know my crush a bit better rather than putting them on a pedestal. The flaws start to appear and I'm more in touch with reality.

You're not a bad person for having a crush. At the end of the day, cheating is a choice. You always have agency. If you are ever unsure of how to behave or whether you are crossing the line in what you say, act as if your spouse is right next to you.

Anonymous wrote:Did not get caught and did not regret it one bit. Still happily married and enjoying retirement!

How long did it last and how did it end?

I have also had crushes. They seem to pass faster when I fantasize about that person when making love to my husband

Anonymous wrote:Did not get caught and did not regret it one bit. Still happily married and enjoying retirement!

Your poor spouse.