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Reply to "ILs pushing their religion on our family "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I second the suggestion that your DH be direct with them. Politely declining hasn't gotten through to them and/or their church encourages members to persevere in their efforts to find the 'light of Jesus'. Believe you me, I know what that feels like. Your DH needs to clearly and unambiguously tell them that you will not be discussing religion and that you will not accept religiously themed gifts. People are often uncomfortable with such directness but you've already tried the soft method. That is not an effective technique with them. Once they've, unambiguously, been told what your boundary is, you should expect them to test it. You and your DH need to be on the same page on the response to that. If you aren't going to be firm about the boundary, they will continue to push their religion on you. There will be excuses like, 'oh, it's just this little thing', 'oh, this isn't a big deal', 'oh, you're making too much out of this', 'oh, this really isn't religious', 'you mean you don't want to know what's going on in our lives?', etc. Holding firm is not the same as being rude. Good luck. [/quote] +1 as someone who has dealt with this as well. The usual politeness and softer approach will not work. In the ILs minds, they are making excuses- thinking “oh they are just busy, or a bit lazy, haven’t found a church home yet and need a nudge”. Or- they are holding out hope that their son agrees with them and is trying to “bring his spouse around” as that is easier for them to accept. DH needs to tell them clearly that there is NO chance whatsoever of a baptism- no matter what ILs do- and that the two of you are in agreement. He also needs to tell them that when the topic is brought up again, you will need to leave (or hang up the phone). My guess is your DH has not done the above- is a nice guy who doesn’t want to hurt his parents’ feelings and is just hoping they will eventually give up and the problem will go away. This tends to be the way a lot of men handle problems with their parents IME. It isn’t always the worst strategy for other topics TBH but with religion he is going to have to man up and really draw a line….otherwise they will just keep pushing and end up causing a real rift/estrangement. [/quote]
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