Reply to Struggling getting 4 year old to cooperate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. To clarify on the bath struggles, she loves it once she’s in! It’s the transitions that she struggles with. So we will be downstairs playing after dinner and give her a warning that in 5 min it’ll be time to go upstairs for bath and bedtime. She’ll go upstairs ok and then it turns into like 10-15 min of nonsense/wildness like harassing the dog, running around naked, getting distracted by toys etc. and at that point, I’m frustrated and just want her to get in the GD bath! And yeah, me getting frustrated always escalates both of us. But thanks again for a lot of these tips. There are a lot of good reminders for me. I know I can be rigid. She is so sweet and silly and I love her so much. She’s our only kid and I’m so thankful we have her. So i take it really hard when i get frustrated with her. She’ll tell me “mommy, it’s hard to be 4” and I’ll remember that, yes, it is really hard to be 4! [/quote]

Can you set a transitional chore?  We clean up before bath so most of our meltdowns occur about being made to put away duplo or whatever which makes it easier for *me* to remain calm because frankly no one expects cleaning up to be fun but baths generally are which is part of the reason I get frustrated when my kids fight me on them — you like baths!  Why the drama?!  If that doesn’t work, it turns into the “choice” of are you getting into the bath by yourself or do you want me to carry you?  Sometimes carrying aka snuggles is sufficiently attractive she chooses that option peacefully; sometimes I’m grabbing a squirmy toddler and carrying her into the bathroom and putting her in the tub.

For those suggesting skipping or moving the bath: that may just displace the drama to whatever the new “first” activity of bedtime is.  For my kids, the problem isn’t baths themselves, the problem is moving from after dinner playtime to bedtime when they’re overtired.[/quote]

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