Reply to Academic Rigor vs. Having a Life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a lot of generalization in the question.   My graduate of a private school was really busy but loved it.  He took a lot of advanced classes.  Did he study a ton?  Sure, but he had a good group of friends who did the same and these guys will be life-long buddies.  He was also at school a lot for meets and activities. He played three sports, was involved in a bunch of clubs. In the summers he had a job but also had a lot of socializing time then and the summer reset is something all my kids love.  He is also very close to his sisters.  Bottom line, I don’t think he would look at his HS experience and say I wish I had studied less or done fewer activities. If anything, he reflects on that time more fondly.

His younger sisters (also at private) seem to be in the same path (though one will take fewer honors classes for sure). My oldest daughter does seem to be more perfectionist in her tendencies and it takes a lot of reminding to keep her feeling that she is in the drivers seat and has a lot of choice in how she approaches the world.  Parenting can def feel tiring in this respect -my son needed less hand-holding - but the kids are fun to be around so it makes up for it. ;)

[b]It often feels like parents are looking for this magic work life balance and should rather see if their kid seems to like their life.  Kids in private schools have so many choices and resources - take advantage of those!  It also seems like a lot of parents set their kids up for stress in that they put too much pressure on college choices and set standards where they don’t allow their kids to fail (and some seem to put pressure on the social stuff too, want kids to be popular).  The parents themselves also seem stressed which I think the kids end up modeling.

Also, be careful what you wish for - a lot of kids who are “balanced” do a lot of partying in HS.  [/b]Staying busy was a godsend for my oldest kid bc he made a lot of friends but didn’t get into trouble. It seems the younger ones are on the same path - or at least I hope so.

So that is my long way of saying, take your cues from your kid and don’t create a problem where there isn’t one.

[/quote]

So much truth to this. Take cues from your kid. Their high school experience is not like yours. Life is different now. Kids socialize through social media and texting, etc. So your kid may be fulfilled but it may not look like your experience. Also, getting into a good college was much easier in your day. It is harder now, so if that is important to you or your kid, then yes, they will have to work harder and challenge themselves. There isn't an easy way out. My DD is at a demanding school (Georgetown Visitation). When she was younger, I used to worry if she was fine with the workload and it turns out she actually likes it and looks forward to the wide variety of resources at the school and the way the school challenges her. She has a great group of (studious) friends and is really happy - it works for her. It doesn't look like my high school experience, which was at a public school, where there was lots of partying and drinking but I never fit in with those kids and didn't feel like I ever found my tribe in high school.  [/quote]

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