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[quote=Anonymous]Op - I do think she is under medicated for anxiety but it’s very confusing bc she is on so many other meds for her current pain. It’s also possible that dementia or Parkinson’s is at play but she has just now had surgery and the geriatrician says they won’t be able to tell until she comes off the pain meds. I do agree I need to talk to my dad more thoroughly - he has told me that they had the conversation and calculated that number that it will cost her to live at home with care until she dies (the $6m number). But I don’t think they have properly thought it through. And yes to all the above posters - she has never been ‘checked’ and made to grow up and he derives some weird secondary benefit. I have been at home with them for the past week and realized that my whole childhood was dominated by her never really needing to step up (never picking me up or dropping me off or making dinner or even waking up before I went to school - Nannies did it all and then I did) while dad structures life around her needs and preferences. Somehow it all didn’t quite click till the anxiety crisis got worse and I saw how she manipulates. I am really struggling with my empathy for her post surgically as a result and actually may need to cut my visit short as I am having trouble faking it. Is all really hard [/quote]

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