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[quote=Anonymous]
My God, I hope that's not me in my old age.

I have a panic disorder, that flares up sometimes (like for a month every couple of years), and at those times, I have back to back panic attacks. I feel like I'm dying. It's horrific. And then, as suddenly as it came, it ends up going away after a few weeks. Nobody has ever been able to understand it.

So I feel for your mother, OP. I have a few thoughts:

1 First, it seems she might have dementia, on top of the panic.

2. Second, have you gotten second and third opinions on the medication? Could her panic be made worse on the cocktail she's on right now? In the elderly who have lots of meds to take, hallucinations and psychosis are often triggered by side-effects of their meds, or med interactions. Could she be intolerant to certain medications? I start hallucinating on codeine, for example, and I'm sensitive to a lot of meds.

3. You and your father have to at least try to get her into a nursing home. See what happens. It sounds very cruel, when she clings to you so unhappily, but here's my reasoning: my panic has a vicious cycle component to it. After a few sleep deprived days with unending panic, I become intolerant to my bed, where most of them occur, and can't even start to sleep because I panic about having a panic attack! My familiar environment starts to make me feel extremely uncomfortable because my poor silly brain associates it with repeated attacks. I don't quite know how I snap out of it, but I always do  (knock on wood).  Maybe your mother cannot anymore, and so she needs a wholly different environment, maybe with different meds, to have a total brain reset.

Also, does she feel cold is beneficial when she starts to panic? I do. I literally open the freezer and stand there. Or use ice packs to try to reduce my panic.

I don't know if any of that helps. I just really hope I don't end up like your mother.

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