Reply to “I don’t want to behave like this anymore”…helping our explosive 8 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds like my 8 year old who was diagnosed with adhd. Emotional dysregulation is a core part of adhd, which I didn’t really know until we went down the path of trying to figure out what was going on. We did OT for a while, and then started meds because the emotional reactiveness was impacting friendships at school and causing my child to feel bad about themselves. They knew their behavior wasn’t in line with others and kept saying “I’m always the bad kid.” The meds made a world of difference. They enabled my child to use the tools they learned to regulate their emotions.

I suggest starting with a formal diagnosis and figure out options from there. [/quote]

Thank you.

I will add he is PERFECT at school and on play dates and with others. This is a home only issue.[/quote]

His home behavior sounds like an outcome of his emotional dysregulation. He’s clearly telling you that if he could control it at home he would! He’s keeping it together as much as he possibly can away from home and then can’t keep it up anymore once at home where he has a meltdown. This is a well-documented response for children (and adults) who deal with emotional dysregulation.

Helping him to identify his dysregulated state sooner — say on a scale of 1 to 10 before he reaches a 5 or 6 — can help him (and you) to stave off a meltdown. He will be better able to access his skills. Once dysregulation levels reach closer to 10, there’s no way to avoid a meltdown — he’s not doing it “on purpose”.

I have an older autistic DD and emotional dysregulation from sensory issues and not picking up on her own cues regarding her internal state (interoception)— both body cues such as hunger and emotion cues — are something we continue to work on and to deal with.  [/quote]

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