Reply to How to let go of petty bitterness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]An invitation is not a summons. Your resentment is misplaced. Why are you blaming someone else for a choice you made?[/quote]

Not OP, but in some families it is a summons and there is hell to pay when you decline. I took the other route and had boundaries. it was the best choice for us, we have no debt and the people who were pissed off and harbored a grudge (one to this day) showed their true colors, but it was not easy upsetting people. I am glad we had boundaries, but it was tough in my 20s to decide we would live within our means and not get sucked into the huge money blow of weddings unless we were very close and they were kind enough to consider the fact not everyone they invited had massive amounts of money to spend. We eloped and had a party months later. No pressure to come and many friends and family were in town. If you chose to come from out of town, we provided dinner the night before and the hotel offered free breakfast and an insanely good discount rate for rooms. We provided a snack gift basket in your hotel room with fruit, muffins, seeds or nuts, etc. Attending the party was the gift, no gifts expected. None of my friends had to buy some hideous dress to wear down an aisle and make me look good. I'm all about budget friendly because I was so stressed about money then too.[/quote]

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