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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I feel differently. When I became a parent I saw how ridiculously hard it was and I forgave my parents a lot. I saw how hard they had it too. Mine weren’t abusive but definitely parented differently than I do [/quote]

When I became a parent, I realized how bad and toxic my parents were and still are.[/quote]

Same. OP here. This is it for me. I was “fine” until my kids reached the age where I can remember being harshly “disciplined,” ignored, laughed at, diminished, etc. The big moment for me lately that has caused me so much pain is that my youngest daughter needs eye drops for pink eye, and it’s been quite the process to get the drops in her eye. We’ve talked it through, I’ve been patient and caring, and we’ve worked out a system. There was a second me almost hovering over me during this loving, patient process, realizing that my eyes would have been forced open while I was held down. And there would have been tons of screaming.

This is exactly it, PP, the longer I’ve been a parent, the more I realize what was wrong when I was a kid. It’s hard. [/quote]

Me three. When I look back at the photos of myself from childhood, and look at my own children, I cannot fathom how my mom could have abused and neglected her children like she did. I can't imagine screaming at them for getting hurt, calling them fat, never giving them proper meals, letting them live in a home with cat feces on the floor, etc.

I do know that my mom tried. I understand better how difficult having kids is. As I have gotten older and more distanced from her, and really understood how bad her mental illness is, I can give her a lot more grace and my anger is gone. But she's no longer being toxic toward me and that sure helps. [/quote]

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