Reply to I'm 53 and am feeling overwhelmed with hatred for my mom and just need to vent.

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Reply to "I'm 53 and am feeling overwhelmed with hatred for my mom and just need to vent."

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m so sorry for your tragic loss, OP. It’s a terrible thing when a child loses their life, it’s not the natural order of things.

Your mother sounds very selfish. As a longtime elder caregiver, I know that *sometimes* that is dementia, but oftentimes it is the exacerbation of a personality trait that has always been there. Only you know which is true of your mother, so please disregard the strangers on this board excusing her behavior and attacking you for having feelings about it.

I also sympathize deeply with your frustrations about your mother’s lack of care for herself and demanding sympathy now from you and others when she is suffering the foreseeable consequences of her own poor choices. My mother suffered for years and then died from COPD, and she whined and demanded sympathy from the people who had begged her for decades to quit smoking - including me, who had begun begging her at age 10 and every year asked her to just please quit smoking as my birthday or Xmas present. She would never even try, not even for one day.

It’s natural and entirely okay to be angry at someone who sabotaged their own health and then demands you feel sorry for them. That’s a narcissist’s mentality and normal people can see the massive hypocrisy in it.

My deep condolences again on the loss of your grandson and the loss of time with him due to his great grandmother’s selfishness. Please be gentle with yourself and feel whatever you want to feel, any decent person would not judge you for it.[/quote]

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