Reply to I'm 53 and am feeling overwhelmed with hatred for my mom and just need to vent.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I am so sorry for your loss  and you have every right to feel this way about your mom. For me it took tragedy after tragedy, including my own at the time serious illness to set major boundaries and detach.

My mother was always selfish and entitled, but with age any graces faded. I was in the hospital, post surgery and she called hysterical about things she needed me for and maybe I could send my husband? This woman has buckets of money and could easily hire. After years of helping her when dad was ill and then trying to be there for her after I was too exhausted and ill to take any more of her demands. It finally became clear the only reason she didn't want me to die is because it would be an inconvenience to her.

Some on here will say you are a good girl for setting yourself on fire to keep her warm and others will tell you that you are a fool to get sucked in. I liked the advice on here it's better to be a good elder than a good daughter. I focused on my own healing and my family I created and I stopped caring if mommy thought I was a good girl. She hated me when I helped and hated me I hired strangers, but I would not have had this significant health improvement if I had not decided to detach from her and just make sure she has hired support.[/quote]

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