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Reply to "According to experts: “If you have a friend who uses any of these 8 toxic phrases, it may be time to ‘move on"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The author’s book interests me because she refers to attachment styles, which I recently learned about. My abusive upbringing led me to not know how to apologize. I struggled mightily with this with my spouse. As a kid, being wrong was not safe and you had to hide being wrong or risk verbal and emotional abuse. Now I can easily admit to mistakes without quaking in my boots and can apologize appropriately too. [b]I’m all for giving so-called toxic people a second chance and then ending the relationship if a resolution can’t be found.[/b] A distinction can be made between toxic narcissists or toxic people who won’t change and those who don’t know betters ways to be yet. In the latter case, a second chance can be nice. [/quote] I definitely think it's worth it to give someone an second (or third or fourth etc. chance) and work on the relationship when it's a family member, spouse, longtime friend, etc. But there is a phrase: "your growth was my trauma." Often working through things means undergoing severe emotional distress that can remain even after the problem is resolved. It's best for people to see these issues early and refuse to continue to invest in the relationship before they change. But I'm glad things worked out for you (and presumably your spouse).[/quote]
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