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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk [/quote]

When I was in college, I had many male friends. I got along with the males more than my female classmates. While we hung out all through college, my male friends and I drifted apart after we got married. I regret not making closer female friends in college and grad school. I worked in a male dominated field and never had a close female colleague at work.

I made my closest friends after I became a mother.[/quote]

+1 
Though I had female friends in K-12, and hung out with plenty of women I liked and had fun with in college, I was slow to get the code of what makes adult female friendships closer.  My style of friendship suited more male groups of friends--activity and interest based rather than intimacy based and so I ended up with more male college friends. (I have ADHD and I've since learned this is common for girls/women with ADHD).  And as people got married, move away, it does get harder to keep up with friends generally---and even more so across genders. It wasn't until I was in my late 20s-early 30s that I started to recognize how women became close friends.  Thanks for reminding me that this is something I should explicitly share with my HS daughter who has ADHD about developing friends in college.  To OPs point, I think sharing stories about what you are happy with/regret about your own college friendships and asking them questions about what kinds of friendships they want--may be one way of planting seeds about this with your kid.  Because I agree with most, it's the person not the school that matters most.[/quote]

What is the code? Trying to help my DD learn this… [/quote]

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