Reply to of course my mother scheduled her non emergent surgery for the first day of my kids 2 week spring break.

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Reply to "of course my mother scheduled her non emergent surgery for the first day of my kids 2 week spring break. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]op - it's major enough surgery that it would be very weird if i weren't there. 
of course she is saying 'dont worry you dont need to be there' - but that feels very bizarre. her saying 'you dont need to be there' feels more like a ridiculous comment you'd make bc you dont want to change the date, rather than a real reflection of what's needed.[/quote]

If it's too much, don't go. Make sure she has hired a professionals to help her. It's good for her to find a place she likes. There will be times your kids need you, your mom has an issue, your MIL is in the hospital and you have to have backup plans. This will likely be a marathon. I have been at this for close to a decade and the only way to survive is for them not to expect you to be there for everything and for you to give yourself permission to guard your sanity.

If she were demanding you be there, it is rude. If she has a plan, then you need to let her go forward with that plan and have her own free will. If this is just manipulation and her "no need to bother" really means"you better come" then that is on her.[/quote]

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