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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. Good morning. Thank you to everyone for your advice. It is immensely helpful. I greatly appreciate your perspectives and the time you’ve taken to share them.

To clarify, she no longer sees them weekly. Yes, we were doing this at first when they first moved back. This is how it had always happily been and we were just resuming that after a 3-year break. No one thought twice about it. But after she expressed it felt like too much, we scaled it back. We haven’t made her come with us every time since and the last few times they were over, she wasn’t even home. Yesterday was the first visit in a few weeks and she had spent Thursday night, Friday, Friday night and half of Saturday with her friends. I felt like I honored my part of the deal: less frequent visits for her and she had just been with friends for half the weekend so she certainly had her own time.

We will have to discuss again and I’ll try to understand what she’s feeling.  As one PP said, I love the idea of expressing that she’s wanted there because we enjoy her and she is part of this family.  I also do feel there is a bigger lesson here as well about manners and conduct, too. I hope we can find the balance. As I mentioned, she’s my first teen and the family’s first teen so I don’t even have a template to model. These years are far harder than I ever expected and I sometimes feel very ill equipped. [/quote]

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