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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is 15, her local boy cousins are 7 and 10 and she has a 13 year old brother in between. She loves being with them for a while and then she likes to do her own thing and then comes back to them.  Part of that is the gender difference, part age, and part is just letting her make some decisions about her own time.  A few years ago, around 12/13 we had a stretch of only wanting to be on electronics and not okay with her cousins.  We redirected that and showed her what balance looks like.  An hour of play, 20 minute break.  It’s pretty much held and she’s never resented being the oldest and having to hang out with younger kids.  We don’t get together as often or for the length of time you do, so it probably feels more special when they’re together.  But I get where you are coming from, it’s hard.

Now flip younger cousins for her grandma with dementia in a nursing home and we got the sour and bad behavior in spades recently.  That we had a real hard conversation with her about her rudeness and how outright embarrassing her behavior was.  We told her she needed 15 minutes of friendliness where she asked full sentence questions and gave full sentence answers.  And it got better.  But boy was I shocked the first time that happened.  [/quote]

This does not sound fun for anyone.  Why should a 15 year old have to play with a seven year old?  Why is she at the "kids table" at that age?  Re grandma, maybe she's grieving.  You should stay curious and ask what she is feeling.  Pretending to be positive is a learned skill.  The reality is you do want her to fake it, so be upfront about that and reduce how often you make her do it.[/quote]

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