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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.

It’s DH’s sibling’s child and we’ve had him since he was 2, so he’s very much part of our family now, and I’m not sure if reunification will ever be possible. I don’t think that’s the heart of the issue.

I do actually like my DH in general. I think he’s cute and he’s brilliant and we do have a lot of similar interests and I enjoy talking with him. He’s interesting and does well one on one.

Kids club isn’t possible for 2/3 of our kids. We’ve tried. We stayed at an all inclusive last year and they got kicked out of the kids club because they have behavioral issues and special needs. They can’t even be in daycare.

When I talk about going out and doing activities I literally mean, taking a walk into town, going to the pool, etc. Even galvanizing DH and my father to do these things is a huge undertaking.

I do give very specific instructions to DH but the instructions can never be specific enough. Examples:
-asked him to do laundry. He threw a bunch of stuff in there with sand and now the washer isn’t working and I’m worried the rental is going to pin it on us

-asked him to pack some snacky things for us in the bag since I was stuck watching the kids. We had fruit, crackers, granola bars. He instead took half a loaf of bread and threw it loose into the bag with a jar of peanut butter. No knife. Bread wasn’t in any kind of bag.

-asked him to run to the grocery store. He got maybe half the items on the list. So for example, he got cereal but no milk. He got Mac and cheese but no butter or milk. I had to go back. He said he couldn’t find the stuff.[/quote]

This is weaponized incompetence. You can’t ask him to do this stuff.

I don’t know if you should get divorced or what but stop banging your head against this rock. He’s just not going to step up. He’s going to sit on the couch and watch videos on his phone.

Get with that reality and you can at least start to relax into it. If you come to the other side and decide to split up, it will be more peaceful than if you keep trying to assign him things knowing he’ll f$& up on purpose. He’s a man baby. It is what it is. You’re not going to change him. You have to live the life you have and accept that you might be happier split up. Maybe not! But stop doing what you’re doing now. [/quote]

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