Reply to If you were starting out as a new parent all over again, what would you do differently?

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Reply to "If you were starting out as a new parent all over again, what would you do differently?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I would have moved to a more family-friendly area before having kids. We're moving now but should have done it years ago and it's harder to move after your kids are a bit older, are in school, and have friends. We talked about it but thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal and in retrospect I think it's really made everything about our lives harder for no particularly good reason.

I would have stood up for myself more when I was pregnant and in the first year after becoming a mom instead of being steamrolled by my spouse, mom, and ILs, all of whom regularly just ignored my needs and opinions. I eventually learned to stand up for myself, but I went through a lot of grief during those two years because I was trying too hard to make other people happy and wasn't doing what I needed to take care of myself. Resulted in PPD, a huge step back in my career, and just generally struggling during a time that should have been about our family coming together.

I've also made mistakes as a parent akin to what OP is talking about, especially around learning when to hold the line with kids. But I think I had to go through it, I've learned from it and so have my kids, and in general I think we found the right balance. We have really healthy relationships between kids and adults in our family, but also the kids are well-behaved, listen to us, and trust just us to make good decisions for them while also being understanding and taking they preferences into account when it makes sense. I especially struggled with my oldest but being a parent is a bit of a trial by fire and I think you kind of have to make those mistakes to understand how to do it. I am really not convinced that anyone gets it exactly right from the start.

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