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[quote=Anonymous]I won’t go into financial details other than to say my husband and I are mostly self made and do better than a lot of others, would probably qualify as a “badass” though I hesitate to call myself that.

Here are my takeaways/advice in terms of money management:

1. Build a career that gives you some flexibility and at least the opportunity to be lucrative.  I’m a lawyer (dime a dozen on this site).  I make a lot more than many lawyers, but it’s great to have options to do something lower paying or higher paying.

2. Don’t quit working unless you really need to (examples: sickness of you or child).  Both of us continuing to work is what has made a huge financial difference for my family.  If I had quit in my mid-30s, which I definitely considered, we would have much, much less.  Also, my experience is that the work itself and the amount you get paid gets so, so much better in your 40s.  I hated my job 80 percent of the time when I was 25-40.  Now I love it because I’m the decision maker, make 2-3 times as much, etc.

3. Choose who you marry carefully.  Consider their spending habits and overall character, because divorce is a financial ruiner.  Are they supportive of your career?  My husband was always frugal and into personal finance, and very supportive of me, which made him more attractive to me.  It’s not even about them being a high earner or coming from a wealthy family.

4. Max out any and all benefits from your employer on day one - 401ks, extra in Roth if you can, health care benefits and flex spending accounts, any other perks your job offers. This will be the easiest money you ever make and it should be on autopilot so you don’t even think about it.

5. Don’t compromise on your values when it comes to your family.  My dream was always to have children and I was never going to compromise on that for my career.  I did part time when my kids were young for a few years (80 percent).  I still sometimes say “no” to work stuff.  I do my very best to have quality time with them.  I took the career and financial risk of having a third kid, even though it would have been easier to stop at two, because it’s my life and I wanted to do it.  I don’t think I’m perfect, but I also think I overcompensate sometimes due to working mom guilt.  I also recognize that my working more has resulted in my husband having less career pressure and being a more present dad, which I love for my children and for him.

6.  Be mature and realize you cannot have everything.  Identify your key priorities and focus on doing those well.   there are some things you have to give up.  I realize that I don’t have the capacity to get together with friends or even extended family more than 1-3 times per month at most.  I would rather be at home on the couch watching the British Baking Show with my daughter because that is what she needs and I need to be with her on my off time. Even though I didn’t love it, I had to have a nanny and rely on grandparents and give up a lot of parenting control so that I could work. Sometimes it hurts a little when I see moms doing all the school volunteering and socializing together when i could have done that and had to opt out. But instead, I’ll have more money for my children and grandchildren, and I get to do this fun and big career. I’ve made my decisions and they’re worth it to me.

To all the younger moms out there, you can do it if you’re strategic and flexible and make good decisions in both your professional and personal life.  Good luck!!
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