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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From the time our second kid was born to the time he was about three years old, it was just one thing after another.

He refused to do any of the nighttime feedings even though he was consistently awake and watching TV for the first feeding. I didn't get more than five hours of sleep in a row until I sleep-trained the baby. And I was working full-time for most of that. I explained how much the sleep deprivation was affecting my mood and he did not care.

He wouldn't lift a finger to clean for years. He'd get angry at me if the house was messy, but he'd also get angry watching me clean. Like he just expected me to do it without him noticing. Again, we were both working full-time and contributing equally financially.

I couldn't trust him to safely parent by himself. Best-case scenario, I'd just come home to a messy house I'd have to clean. Worst-case scenario, he ignored our toddler and preschooler and they'd leave the house or get into the medicine cabinet. He'd tell me it was no big deal and I was crazy for worrying. I stopped traveling for work.

He'd call me at the last minute on days he was supposed to pick the kids up and tell me he was running late and could I do it? I'd be running from home where I was cooking dinner, or from the grocery store, to get the kids. He knew I cared about being on time at day care and this was another passive-aggressive way of showing how little he cared about me or our kids.

I came home with the kids once and dinner was cold tomato sauce on undercooked pasta. I'm not sure if he expected me to eat it. I don't know why that one sticks, but it does.

And that's just a small fraction.

He's actually a way better parent now. He does 50%. He cleans. But I'm just so done emotionally. The funny thing, I think he's going to be the one who leaves me. Intellectually, I know I'm in a much better place now as far as being single. Our incomes are both much higher and the kids are older. But I might feel better about myself if I'd left rather than putting up with this and having him leave me later. [/quote]

Ugh. I’m mad for you! You worked like crazy in a way I know I personally don’t understand to compensate for his intense…selfishness? What’s the word even for this?

If he files, SFW? I’d throw you a parade. I hope you get a better man in your life sooner rather than later.[/quote]

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