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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a lot of people are assuming your mom might have a year or 2 left and that you are wealthy enough for sayings like "you will never wish you had worked more. You will wish you had more time with your mom." Be prepared that they can live a very long time in an ever-worsening state and there could be some scary personality changes.[/quote]
100%[/quote]

At some point it won’t require the day to day right?  Because they’ll be far gone enough to not know one way or the other how often someone has visited or for how long, correct?[/quote]

Yes and because of this is when they need the most support. They need an advocate at their most vulnerable period. Apparently you hate hearing this but it is true. [/quote]

I disagree. My mother  has dementia and in the early stages we took her on cruises with her family including grandkids. Spent a lot of time with her when she knew who we were and could at least remember some things. I took my kids to visit several times a week. Now she is in the ending stages. and I rarely visit. I have no guilt about it and I don’t think it makes a difference. It just seems to interrupt her routine. What does she need an advocate for at this stage? No one should have to suffer through end stage dementia. It’s cruel for the suffering person and their family.[/quote]

And I disagree with you. You do you…as you will need to live the rest of your life with the decisions you made at the end of their life. I know I will be content with my decisions for my parents at the end of their life. [/quote]

I have Zero guilt and never will. Only women are pressured into being martyrs for their parents. Men are never guilted into it. I am so tired of hearing what so many people say only to women and rarely or never to men-  your kids are watching how you take of your parents so you should make them a priority over everything in your life.

I have told my kids repeatedly if I get dementia I really hope I realize it in time to go to Switzerland and end my life. I absolutely do not want to live to 90 and have no idea where I am and who my loved ones are and eventually how to walk and swallow. It’s such a miserable death. And I told my kids if I miss that window please under no circumstances sacrifice your life taking care of me. I would never in a million years wish the stress I have been through the 6 years taking care of a person with dementia. Now my mom is in the final stages I am prioritizing my husband and kids AND myself.

This digressed from OP’s issue with her mom. But OP really shouldn’t do any extra procedures. Just keep your mom as comfortable as she can be. I would send her back to where she was living with an aide. Or to a nursing home. She isn’t cognitively going to be able to do rehab. And the big problem is she isn’t going to remember she has a broken hip and is going to try and get up and walk. They can no longer restrain patients physically so they use chemical restraints and that’s why they gave her haldol. The hospital doesn’t want her falling and then they might have  to report she was injured at the hospital. [/quote]

Are you worried about abuse? [/quote]

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