Reply to Just back-burnered my career

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FWIW, I have watched both my parents do this at various times (but more my mother). They cared for their parents, and then for my aunt during the couple years she had cancer. She moved in with them and died in their home.

They are solidly on the other side of it now and really thriving and enjoying themselves. My mom was never super ambitious about her career but if she had been, she would have thrown herself into it again. My dad’s career has ebbed and flowed with family responsibilities but lately has been collaborative and fun for him. Their lives got a lot lighter once the intensive eldercare responsibilities ended.

Probably not a huge comfort to you now, so feel free to wallow in it. I am here for your pity party! This period isn’t forever and it will get better for you. [/quote]

Sometimes the peace of mind we get from helping loved ones continues for years beyond. It seems like your parents have it. I hope, op, you will have it too. Peace of mind is a great gift.[/quote]

And sometimes the stress of helping loved one through dementia/Alzheimers affects the caregiver detrimentally both physically and mentally. It can ruin relationships with other loved ones such as a spouse and children and affect their career. If you can care for a loved one and keep a balance and keep your peace of mind then by all means go for it. But there are too many people who are guilting women (it is usually always women) into sacrificing everything for an elderly relative. This is the only country in the world where every measure is taken to keep people in their late 80's and 90's alive. So the burden last so, so long for the person who is the caregiver or point person. Far, far longer than in any other country. And the drugs they have developed for Alzheimers/dementia prolong life without the patient getting any better. [/quote]

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