Reply to What was your unhappy marriage like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH is on antidrepessants and anti anxiety meds. I'm on medical marijuana and microdose mushrooms. We live on separate wings of the house. Don't vacation together.  Socialize together 1x a year max. Like this, it has finally become bearable.

Things we tried but don't do anymore because it was bad/not helpful: couples counseling, individual therapy, separation, religion [/quote]

Can we be friends? Seriously, all the women here who are in marriages that sound like mine, I need a tribe. My single friends do not understand. [/quote]

We can be friends! 
My friends definitely don't understand why I don't divorce. Because right now I have 100% custody.
I forgot to add in that he's tried anger management classes and is a proud graduate of 3 courses :-|
And we don't ever drive anywhere together anymore. And he only drives himself. That's helped a lot because his anger unleashes while on the road.[/quote]

I’ll be in your tribe too.

My DH has completed half of an anger management class. Separation was a disaster. He harassed me throughout. We are back in the house and I enjoy the 100% custody. I do not mind having him around on holidays or whatever.

We are in couples therapy, and I hate it. I have mostly gotten him to cut out his threats (very escalated — think police, lawyers, court, restraining orders, public humiliation, divorce, on a weekly or biweekly basis) and false accusations, but occasionally they resurface in therapy. I thought he was mentally ill but since we started therapy he has dropped like 80% of the behavior so it must just be massive manipulation and maybe some untreated trauma plus a good dose of being an a**hole.

I recently had a vision though that helped. In it I realized he was not really my life partner. That I would meet someone else who was truthful and loving and normal. I felt a sense of joy I haven’t felt in a long time. Looking forward and moving forward towards that in my own life. Have several more years with kids at home, but that is OK. I have a lot to keep me busy and a lot I can do on my own to fulfill myself.[/quote]

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