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[quote=Anonymous]My two are 3 and 2.

Typically, we each get two week nights off per month. So, basically, approximately once a week one of us is not involved in end of day pickups, childcare, dinner prep, dinner, and bedtime.

We also generally divide the weekend up into "quadrants." Basically pre-nap/post-nap Saturday and Sunday. We each try to take one of those off from childcare. So, for example, if you have Saturday morning off, you sleep as late as you want, and then do what ever you want until 3 or so when the first kid is up from nap. The other parent gets the kids in the morning, gets them ready, takes them out somewhere, serves lunch, and puts them down for nap. If you have Saturday evening off, you help put the kids down for nap at 1, and then you're off - go do something fun, go out with friends, hobbies, whatever, and come home whenever you want, while the other parent gets the kids up from nap, serves a snack, entertains them, does baths, dinner, bedtime, and evening chores.

We also swap post-bedtime babysitting on Friday nights with a neighbor so we get out after 8pm together every other week. And we set aside Monday nights as a date night in after bedtime.

Every family will find their own balance, but 2-3 nights sounds super excessive. I think you need to frame this as equal time for both of you, whatever you decide. And if you did it his way, it means you would basically never have time together as a family, and that doesn't feel right to me. Is that what he is advocating for?

I would push back on your "I don’t expect to not be on call between after school and bedtime." He's right about that - I think this is critical, and really makes it feel like a true break and actually restorative (rather than rushing home for bedtime). [/quote]

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