Reply to How to maintain an active sex life over the decades?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to maintain an active sex life over the decades?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are at least two other threads discussing changes in libido as people age within marriage. Any suggestions as to how to ensure that sex remains a core part of your marriage that both partners value? One person talked about having a wife in her 50s who barely makes any effort in bed now because she didn't need to back in her youth when she was gorgeous with a perfect body. I imagine that is a recipe for a dead bedroom as the decades pass. What things should couples avoid and what things should they proactively do besides setting aside a date night? [/quote]

General advice:

Be aware that both partners' libidos will rise and fall over time. Don't let your mind panic and turn every single "dry spell" into a catastrophic "Oh my god, dead bedroom, I'll get sex outside the marriage" thing--a knee-jerk reaction that some people on this forum always seem to have. Things will change with age; work stresses; having kids; etc. Know that at the outset so you're not surprised or angry when you realize you're not having the sex you want. Then proactively ask, "What's stressing us/me/you out and affecting our sex lives?"

TALK about sex. Talk about dry spells rather than wishing and hoping your spouse will simply figure out you're frustrated. Talk before you reach the point of frustration. If your partner isn't a talker, you need them to be, and don't be afraid to get outside help like couples therapy or sex therapy if communication is truly bad. [b]I'm amazed how many posts here seem to be from people who just hope their spouses will magically realize they want more sex, or different sex, and who don't want to [i]tell[/i] their spouses that. [/b]
[/quote]

I’m also amazed that some people unilaterally decide not to have sex and magically expect their spouses to be okay and remain sexless [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics