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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are some of the things narcissistic mothers say and do?[/quote] when you’re a 9 year old piano player learning the Happy Farmer she pushes you off the piano bench and plays a Chopin’s Polonaise.[/quote]

Thank you for this one example. I read so many posts from women who hate their mothers, but never any examples of what it is exactly, their mothers did to them. I would implore everybody to be very cautious of therapists. To be honest, the two most self-centered, insecure women I have known in my adult life felt rudderless as empty nesters and became therapists. They charge and arm and a leg, but I simply cannot imagine ever getting becoming a healthier person just by sitting down with the likes of them. My DD tried therapy a few times for her anxiety in high school and could not believe how strange the therapists she tried all were[b]. I know this is so unsympathetic, but barring physical and sexual abuse, and real neglect, should having a mother who is basically just not that nice really ruin your life?[/b]

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Fair question and here is my answer. It’s not that she is just “not that nice.” It’s that, as a young child, every accomplishment, heartbreak, joy, or other emotion is mocked, downplayed, or ignored. As an adult I’ve had to overcome many negative coping strategies because it was hammered into me as a child that my feelings were not important - that I was not important. Emotional neglect like that reprograms your brain, and it takes a lot of work to get mentally healthy again.

For my teen and young adult life I allowed people to treat me like garbage because I thought I WAS garbage. Because if my own MOM treated me like that, then certainly no one else would think better of me.  You see?[/quote]

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