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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it’s fair to make him pay it back unless you explicitly told him before writing the check that that’s what the deal would be. If you had, he may have made a different decision. It’s a sunk cost and your relationship with  your kid is what’s important here. [/quote]

If the reason for his quitting his burnout, then I agree with you. Of course, the fact that he has never complained about playing and up until yesterday loved the sport and his team is part of the mystery. If it was a knee-jerk reaction to something that needs to be resolved with his team, coach etc then I think having him work through that is important (as is possibly paying back the unusable fees). Life and your actions have consequences. I don't think asking him to repay the cost sinks our relationship - it sets a boundary and a level of responsibility.

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I disagree-needless strife with a 16 year old who likely has a reason that makes sense to him is causing trouble for no reason. But you do you! [/quote]

Boy if I used this approach my kid would never be held accountable for anything. Yes, I think it's important to pick your battles with a teen but not to avoid something that needs to be addressed. In this case, it sounds like the OP feels like the teen's decision was hasty and needs more clarity and possibly some consequences. Probably more to the story and more about how the kid handles situations. I think giving the kid some time to react to their decision is important. Kids' mental health and wellness are vital to monitor. As a parent its tough to strike the right balance of support and involvement and stepping back. [/quote]

Well then op should have told him before signing up what consequence would be for stopping mid season-if op did that then it makes sense to stick with that, of course. If op didn’t and is now springing it on the kid, that seems needlessly harsh. I’d focus less on “teaching him a lesson” than on understanding what the problem is. [/quote]

I agree, and decided if it even is a problem.  Kids need to do what is best for them with their free time, not what you think is best for them.  Playing competitive soccer is not a requirement of being a kid.  Going to school, helping around the house, being a good human, yes.  Sports, no.[/quote]

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