Reply to kept something from my husband because of the stress he’s under but feel terrible

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unpopular opinion, and here goes:
I would not keep a secret from my DH because I feel that this betrays the covenant we made when we vowed that two become one. Keeping a secret from him would feel like I’m compromising that vow.

We are clear about this with our children and I don’t think they would ever ask one of us to keep something from the other. But if they asked to tell me something on the condition that I not share it with DH, I would remind my child why I can’t hold to that condition.
I think the only time I would even fathom keeping a secret from my DH is if my child were accusing DH of something horrible and feared retaliation.  
[/quote]

I can understand your position but my concern would be you are denying your child a safe person/space. I wonder how old your kids are. I have 2 in college and one in HS. They have come to me when they were desperately in need of support. DH isn’t as empathic and has more conservative views. If I didn’t allow them to confide in me, I don’t think some of these situations would have resolved favorably. They needed an adult’s support and guidance. DH knows the kids talk to me and that if they ask for me not to share, I won’t share. He actually respects that. I don’t feel like I’m compromising any vow. [/quote]

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