Reply to I am an independent person, not just a conduit to my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be petty and stop bringing the kids to my in-laws. DH can take them if he feels that relationship is important. They already feel you favor your family, so might as well do that all the way. [/quote]

+1. I don't cater to ungrateful people. [/quote]

Yeah, I do sometimes want to say "sorry your son doesn't care about seeing you or your kids having a relationship with you. that's a you / dh problem, not a me problem". It is definitely the way they raised him, once I was an adult my mom sat me down and was like "our relationship is now a two way street, if you want us to be close and there for each other you need to put into the relationship too".  DHs parents never stopped treating their relationship as one way and catering to him like a child while having no expectation of being cared for back.[/quote]

There will be an expectation of being cared for once they are elderly and frail. Is he an only child?[/quote]

he is. i'm staying out of that for now.  i do not think he'll rise to the occasion in a major way. i would never let them fall into a bad situation if for example one had passed and the other had dementia and needed help figuring out a living situation, but i'm also not looking to be the primary coordinator of their care.  They have plenty of money to hire all variety of help so there's fortunately no situation where they'd have to move in with us and then all the care taking could be dumped on me[/quote]

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