Reply to How often do you check your teen’s phone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t ever check my 15 year old’s phone.  I stopped before high school.  He’s pretty open about things and I know a lot of friends are drinking, doing drugs and even driving without a license. I know some of their parents know but I know my kid has also tried drugs and alcohol.  We are trying to keep the lines of communication open and think that’s more effective than checking phones.  I can’t keep up with what apps they use to communicate.  They aren’t texting.

As for the other stuff, we stopped allowing sleepovers many years ago.  We sleep with our car keys in our bedroom.  I don’t think he’s leaving in the night since I’m the lighter sleeper in the house.  [/quote]

Your kid is only 15 and has already tried alcohol and drugs and you don’t look at his phone ever? You don’t think he is sneaking out but you aren’t even sure? What about girls, sex, bullying, harassment, or getting in cars with drinkers, etc…  You think a 15yr old boy tells the truth to his parents. He told you every time he tried things or made mistakes. His friends are the bad ones but he isn’t?  Come on!!!

[/quote]

I’m not a troll.  I think a lot of sophomores have tried alcohol or vapes.  You are the clueless ones if you think this isn’t common.  It’s a blessing and a curse that my kid tells us a lot.  No, he’s not perfect at all.  But I’m a realist and know the things you are checking on the phone aren’t likely the apps where they do their primary communication.   The second you start demanding to see Snapchat they will change the settings and you won’t even know what you aren’t seeing. [/quote]

+2 My 15 year old honors and AP student is also drinking and smoking weed at parties or hanging our with friends. Yes, we have caught him. All of his friends are also doing this. These are boys from homes with engaged parents and HHI, active in school, sports, good grades. They all think weed is much more tame than alcohol. I don’t know about vaping. I thought that wasn’t as popular anymore. Those nicotine pouch things (zin?) are everywhere though. [/quote]

What consequences did you implement when you caught him smoking weed and drinking? Or do you think it's not a big deal for a 15 year old to be engaging in those activities?[/quote]

Punished appropriately. Why would you assume I think it is no big deal? However, short of keeping my kid home every weekend for the next 2 years and isolated from friends, you can’t really control what they are doing when they are not with you. Surely you remember being a teenager? [/quote]

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